It’s hard sometimes when design decisions are made by more than one person. It usually means compromise and sometimes even a watering down of an aesthetic. But it can also lead to completely fantastic collaborations and better than expected outcomes. The journey though with multiple parties involved is generally slower going whatever the outcome.
I can help and guide clients to a harmonious outcome, its what I do for a living. Where it’s a residential project its usually husband and wife friction and for commercial work sometimes it can be many many parties.
The hardest of them all as far as I am concern is my own home. The reason? My absolutely adorable husband. He works in the design field in fashion and has clear views – this should all be helpful. We’ve been together as a couple for 17 years (I know! BTW this must mean we were babes in arms OR in fact we’re really old…) again should be very very helpful. We share a love of mid century design – fantastic news! I also really respect his opinion on things. BUT he has a laundry list of dislikes that grows by the hour. I’m not kidding you.
Some of list;
No to portraits. Must never have anyone on your walls that you do not know personally.
No pansies – in print, pattern or real life. Apparently they have scary faces.
No colours with lilac/purple undertones in fabric or paint form.
No religious iconography. This one came after I bought some vintage prints of saints at a salvage fair. Never realised before that he strong feelings on the subject.
No Birds. I love several fabrics and wallpapers with bird motifs, he absolutely hates them. I’ve seen some wonderful artwork, which incorporates birds, and he is vehement on the subject.
Too many cushions. Whilst soft furnishings are allowed too many cushions are a no no – only to create a pile in another chair
I might also add that anything with bugs, insects or butterflies are out of the question. As are educational aids showing the human anatomy or any living thing.
To be fair I am glad he is interested (albeit picky) and not dismissive or worse unresponsive. He’s engaged in the overall look and feel. Just wish he was doing the sourcing sometimes. Am I being unreasonable? Possibly, but I’m definitely finding it trying. Very trying 🙂
I completely understand. I have a lovely husband who is happy to leave me to source ideas *but* can dismiss the result of hours of my searching in an instant. So I go back to the drawing board and try again. To be fair to him though, where we end up is usually better than the first ideas I present, but it can be a frustrating process. He does let me have birds though… 😉
@Peagreen98 LOVE today's blog!!! Made me laugh…… xx
I really love this blogpost Mary. I am reading it at the airport while waiting for my plane and it really made me smile:-) after all I think it is quite nice to have a partner who is also interested in your passion and work and yes, compromise can sometimes be tough but all worth the hassle when love is involved:-)
Mary – I feel your pain : )
I think in our house its me that says 'No' the most, if my hubby had his way the walls would be covered in Maps, and not old antique ones that actually look nice, oh no, the kind of laminated ones you get from WHS or tourist maps. We have very different taste…
I did smile at this. I would totally go with his dislikes to a point but then if i loved something i'd say find something better or it's this and put it in a room he doesn't use as much!
To give him his credit he does love some wonderful things too. He was just as in love with Svenskt Tenn as I was when we were in Stockholm and he really likes vintage like I do which if a real bonus. He bought me an amazing brass candlestick at Christmas that he picked up in Sweden. So maybe I'm luckier than I'm giving credit for.
He does have soft spot for maps though….. he can be persuaded to the vintage kind or even those in another language. He also really likes slightly industrial design…. Both of these I can work with in small doses 🙂
I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm pretty fortunate in that my husband usually just goes along with whatever I choose. But I think the "too many cushions" complaint is one that most men have, including mine. I try to compromise on that (except for the beds which only look right with loads of pillows!). For the most part, we have similar taste, but every so often he will come home with something he's chosen which I do not like. And he's so excited about it, that I just try to incorporate it and work with it.
SMILE. I think your husband is darling. But picky. So, a good sense of humour is good !
I love this post Mary, so funny! But what I really want to see….is the comeback post! Please get hubs to write a post about what you won't like him decorate the house with! 🙂
Good post Mary. I like the your husband is opiniated but can imagine that itncan also be frustrating.
More often than not, people have aversions to things/tastes due to an incident in life. Would be interesting to know his side.
What a lovely post! It made me smile and make me want to be a fly on the wall in your house!
Not sure how I'm only seeing this now but love this post! very hard to "marry" (no pun intended!) two different peoples styles and I do struggle with having to compromise if my husband isn't loving my latest design whim…but that's all part of the fun I suppose!